Learning to Hate
by Aenaris
Summary: Peer pressure is a strong force. Can Severus withstand it, or while he crumple under its influence? Canon compliant.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Severus Snape, his friends, or the world around him.

**A/N:** This is for Sareface's "Peer Pressure" Competition.

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"C'mon Sev. Why do you hang around with that mudblood anyway?" Mulicber asked him, once more, a conversation that had been repeating itself for years.

The dark haired boy frowned at his companion. "My name is Severus. You would do well not to shorten it," he reminded, his gaze grim.

Mulciber rolled his eyes, but it appeared that he remembered the curse that had been placed on him the last time he ignored the warning, as he did heed it this time. "You didn't answer the question, _Severus_."

"My relationship with Evans is none of your concern." The reply came coolly, the tone conveying the lack of interest he expected Mulciber to show.

"Well, you hate Potter, and I figure if you can hate a Gryffindor Blood Traitor, well, he's a step up from a Gryffindor Mudblood, so you should definitely hate her." The reasoning came as though it were being explained to a child.

Although he wouldn't admit it aloud, Severus was beginning to regret that Black's curse had hit Avery instead of Mulciber. Avery was more easy-going and intimidated than Mulciber. When he bought it up and was told to shut it, Avery shut it. Mulciber, on the other hand, seemed as though he wanted to talk the subject to death. It was all Severus could do to convince his 'friend' not to attack Lily outright.

There was little that could be done to convince the Pureblood of his friendship with a Muggleborn, so Severus remained quiet, choosing to simply leave his companion behind. He was truly beginning to believe that Slytherins did not allow themselves to get attached to anyone, and as such, it was no wonder he was being influenced so much to cut ties. After all, it wouldn't do to let the other houses believe that Slytherins actually had feelings.

Upon entering the library, his eyes settled on the red waves hiding a pale and delicate face. His usual silent approach gave no indication of his presence, so when Severus did finally take his seat, lovely green eyes met his with a startled expression. Then Lily's lips curled up in a smile. "Hey, Sev. You're late. Where have you been?"

"I was held up in the Common Rooms," he answered vaguely, not wanting Lily to be displeased with him.

She wasn't to be fooled by the lack of information. "You were hanging out with Avery and Mulciber again, weren't you?" Lily asked him, her green eyes narrowing on his.

Severus tried not to sigh at her. "Avery is in the hospital wing due to Black," he reminded her, certain the fool would have been bragging about it in their common room.

Lily frowned. "So you were with Mulciber, and that tells me Avery would have been there if not for extenuating circumstances. Why do you hang out with them? You're nothing like them, don't you know the things they do to people? I can't see what you even like enough to associate with them."

Severus stood up, surprising Lily. "I've got to speak to Professor Slughorn about our potions essay," he lied, only interested in getting away from his friend. He refused to look back over his shoulder as he swept out of the room. Rather than returning to the dungeons where he was likely to run into more of his housemates, Severus made his way out onto the front lawn to contemplate.

It was getting harder and harder to be around anyone without conflict arising. No matter the separation he tried to maintain from the situation, he was continuously caught in the middle, and the aggravation of it was beginning to wear on him. It appeared that he would not be allowed to sit on the fence forever. Eventually, he would have to make a decision and openly declare his side.

He could announce himself as a blood traitor, spending the rest of his days in the Slytherin house in misery, victim to the cruelty he had already witnessed his housemates capable of committing. Everyone other than Slytherins would still remain harsh and uncaring to him, in denial of the fact that Slytherin did possess feelings and the ability to care about others. Still, it would mean that his friendship with Lily was cemented.

On the other hand, going the dark route had so many more possibilities. He would have to give up associating with anyone of lesser rank, but no one was of any importance to him aside from a certain redheaded Gryffindor. Lily had been his first friend, the first person to show him true kindness and tenderness; Severus wasn't certain he had the strength, or perhaps the weakness, to betray her like that. All the while though, the whisper of power, of superiority, of being someone haunted him, tempting him to follow it to the Dark Lord.

Each wall kept closing in on him, nearer and nearer, offering only a door to their world as a chance to escape being crushed between their weight. He couldn't have both, but was still unwilling to surrender either for as long as he could. Either path would lose him a part of whom he was, but which was the less important part; which path would allow him the chance to live a better life than the way it was going now?

Severus didn't come up with an answer that day, or did he develop one over the following weeks of pondering. In the end, during that fateful week of O.W.L.s when he made his choice, he hadn't even realized that the decision had been reached until the words were out of his mouth.

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_(1)

Severus watched the shimmering curtain of red fly out behind her as she marched off, oblivious to whatever other tricks Potter and his friends were up to. Now that he had finally learned to hate, he couldn't help but wonder if it was truly the correct one.

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**Footnote:** (1) Quote by Severus Snape from _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_, Chapter Twenty-Eight.


End file.
